Silly Songs with Star - Monkey

Announcer (speaking): And now it's time for Silly Songs with Star, the part of the show when Star comes out and sings a silly song. Today, Nina and Star are on a photo safari, tracking the trail of a monkey. Or an ape. We don't know which. Hence the song.

Star: If it doesn't have a tail, it's not a monkey.

Even if it has a monkey-kind-of shape.

If it doesn't have a tail, it's not a monkey.

If it doesn't have a tail, it's not a monkey. It's an ape!

If it doesn't have a tail, it's not a monkey...

Nina: Let's see if we can catch it on the tape.

Star: You can very plainly see if it's a monkey.

If it doesn't have a tail, it's not a monkey. It's an ape!

Nina (speaking): Look, there it goes! There it goes! I don't know! I can't tell if it's a monkey or an ape!

Star (speaking): It's very simple, Nina.

(singing) If it doesn't have a tail, it's not a monkey.

If it doesn't have a tail, it's not a monkey. It's an ape!

Nina (speaking): Uhh, Star, I'm not so sure...

Star: Ooga booga, isn't that a monkey? (monkey chant)

Nina (speaking): Booga looga, maybe it's an ape. (monkey chant)

Star: If it's a nickel, or a salad, or a pillow.

If it doesn't have a tail, it's not a monkey. It's an ape!

Nina: If it doesn't have a tail...?

Star: Not a monkey!

Nina (speaking): Are you sure that's what you really mean to say?

A camera has no tail...

Star: It's not a monkey!

If it doesn't have a tail, it's not a monkey. It's an ape!

Nina (speaking): Uh, I think there's something wrong with your logic, Star.

Star (speaking): Well, Nina. The lady at the zoo said it, and who am I to tell her that's she's wrong? "If there's a tail, it's a monkey. No tail, ape." It's easy!

Nina (speaking): But, Star! A kite has a tail--

Star: Then it's a monkey!

Nina (speaking): A comet has a tail--

Star: It's a monkey!

Nina (speaking): A bubble doesn't--

Star: Then it's not a monkey! If it doesn't have a tail, it's not a monkey...

Nina (speaking): It's an ape?

Star (speaking): Exactly! I knew you'd catch on!

Nina (speaking): Star, we may need to talk about this! I don't think the lady at the zoo meant--

Star (speaking): Shh!

Look, there it goes! In the trees!

Follow me! It's gotta be a monkey or an ape!

I can't believe it's true!

All this time, I've searched for you!

Snap the picture! Take the shot!

We're among the lucky few!

We finally did it, photographer.

We discovered what we're after!

Let me look! Is it an ape?!

Nina (speaking): Star, this is a disaster

Star (speaking): It's a monkey!

Nina (speaking): Star, that's a cow. Not a--

Star (speaking): That was exhilarating. Let's find more!

(singing) If it doesn't have a tail, it's not a monkey.

Even if it has a monkey-kind-of shape.

If it doesn't have a tail, it's not a monkey.

If it doesn't have a tail, it's not a monkey. It's an ape!

Announcer (speaking): This has been Silly Songs with Star. Tune in next time to hear Nina say...

Nina (offscreen): But, Star, you don't have a tail.

Star (offscreen): I don't?

Nina (offscreen): Nope, neither do I!

Star (offscreen): I wouldn't be so sure about that, Nina.

Nina (offscreen): What do you mean?

Star (offscreen): Oh, nothing!