Silly Songs with Star - The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything

Announcer (speaking): And now it's time for Silly Songs with Star, the part of the show where Star comes out and sings a silly song. Joining Star are Brussel and Curtis E. Owl, who, together, make up the infamous gang of scallywags, the pirates who don't do anything

Star, Brussel, and Curtis: We are the pirates who don't do anything
We just stay home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you

Star: We don't do anything

Brussel: Well, I've never been to Brisbane and I've never been to Greenland
And I've never buried treasure in St. Louis or St. Paul
And I've never been to Moscow and I've never been to Denver
And I've never been to Boston in the fall

Star, Brussel, and Curtis: Cause we're the pirates who don't do anything
We just stay home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you

Star: We don't do anything

Curtis: And I've never hoist the mainstay
And I never swab the poop deck,
And I never veer to starboard 'cause I never sail at all!
And I've never walked the gangplank
And I've never owned a parrot
And I've never been to Boston in the fall!

Star, Brussel, and Curtis: Cause we're the pirates who don't do anything
We just stay home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you

Star: We don't do anything

Well, I've never plucked a rooster
And I'm not too good at ping pong,
And I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall,
And I've never kissed a chipmunk
And I've never gotten head lice,
And I've never been to Boston in the fall!

Curtis (speaking): Huh? What are you talking about? What do a rooster and mashed potatoes have to do with being a pirate?

Brussel (speaking): Hey, that's right. We're supposed to sing about pirate-y things.

Star (speaking): Oh.

Brussel (speaking): And who's ever kissed a chipmunk? That's just nonsense! Why even bring it up? Am I right? What do you think?

Curtis (speaking): I think you look like Cap'n Crunch.

Brussel (speaking): Huh? No I don't!

Curtis (speaking): Do too.

Brussel (speaking): Do not!

Curtis (speaking): You're making me hungry.

Brussel (speaking): That's it! You're walking the plank!

Curtis (speaking): Says who?

Brussel (speaking): Says the Captain! That's who!

Curtis (speaking): Oh, yeah? Aye-aye, Cap'n Crunch! Hee-hee-hee-hee!

Brussel (speaking): Arrrgh!

Curtis (speaking): Yikes!

(Brussel starts chasing Curtis)

Star: And I've never licked a spark plug
And I've never sniffed a stinkbug,
And I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball,
And I've never bathed in yogurt
And I don't look good in pink...

Brussel (speaking): (sits back down with Curtis) You just don't get it...

Star, Brussel, and Curtis: And we've never been to Boston in the fall!

Brussel (speaking): Pass the chips! Who's got the remote control?

Star (speaking): Here it is!

Curtis (speaking): Time for Stories for Everyone!

Brussel (speaking): It's definitely time for Super Squad.

Curtis (speaking): Oh, I don't like this show.

Star (speaking): Hey, look! I found a quarter!